Muse Of the Moment: "Black Boyfriend" by Dave Harris

Hey! 

So I guess I'm going to do a new segment here and simply discuss music, artwork, poetry, books , photography, or simply things I like. I've been watching Button Poetry on YouTube for a couple of years now and I've gathered a bunch of spoken poetry I really love. From Fatima Asghar to Ollie Schminkey to Aziza Barnes to Patrick Roche I have taken an interest into spoken word. Some have made me cry, others have made me laugh and others have made me take a seat and think.

"Black Boyfriend" by Dave Harris gives a thought provoking take on what it means to be a black man in the world of interracial dating. It's interesting, funny and at the end of the poem it brings up a poignant statement. Honestly, I really feel like it would do the poem injustice if you don't watch the video. These words on the computer screen do not carry the same rhythm, pace, and emotion as how the poet would want it to be delivered so please watch it the link will be here.

Watch it, than come back. Please :)

For now I will post the poem here and discuss it. Pretty much it. (I transcribed it so obviously there might be some rhythm or spacing issues but I tried to make sure it was as accurate as possible.)

To the fathers of too many women I’ve dated

The day I meet you, I always straighten my tie.

I use the biggest words I know

I break out the good shoes.

So you can see them, before you can see past them

I always go in for the handshake.

See I’ve been practicing my good, strong, grip. I go in for the shake, look you in the eye like the man I always see it that

Surprised face.

That face that says

“Oh”

Says

“Oh shit.”

Says

“Oh shit, my daughter did not bring home a black guy –“

Yup!

That’s me! I’m your daughter’s first black boyfriend. Surprise!

I bet, I bet you didn’t see that one coming.

Yes indeed, you daughter is in fact “down with the brown”

I’m sorry. I guess this means you must have failed as a parent.

Or maybe it’s just a phase, let’s hope it’s just a phase.

Still

I know you tried to nip this in the bud, when you were young.

See you caught her watching Tyler Perry one time and you slapped her across the mouth!

She said, “But Dad, I was only flipping through the channels.”

To which you replied, “Becky, you better take yo ass in yo room and watch an episode of Full House, starring Bob Saget. BOB SAGET!”

Yet still,

Those thirty seconds of "Madea’s Family Reunion" must have burned a hole into her heart cause now,

I’m here

You’re worst nightmare.

You know how it goes,

“Once you go black, you never go back.”

Say it with me y’all

“ONCE YOU GO BLACK, YOU NEVER GO BACK.”

And it’s permanent.

That’s right.

It’s real

It’s real like she gonna look at Ryan Gosling and think “I wish he was darker yo, I wish he was darker!”

It’s real

It’s real like you can Google that shit on WebMD

It’s real

It’s real like if my penis was in Congress, they’d call it the majority whip

And speaking of Congress

Did you know that the first American log of interracial marriage was made in 1691?

Interracial marriage was not made legal in the United States until 1967, America

Is often lauded as being the great melting pot

For the way it brings together different races, different cultures, different differences

Do not, call this country a melting pot when nothing has melted

Do not, call this country a melting pot, forget how long it was illegal to mix.

You might never live a day in the life of this skin and I won’t ever yours

but shared experiences has value regardless

One girl taught me how to swing dance, I taught her how to dougie.

One girl taught me about Seoul food from Korea, I taught her about soul food from my kitchen.

So to all the fathers

Like you.

This

Is simply what it looks like when your children do better than you did.

Wake up.

If I am your worst nightmare you need to figure out what the fuck is wrong with your dreams.

As soon as I heard that last statement I understood that this was going to be a favorite. He won me over with the performance, the distinctive pauses in between verses and just the passion that he exuded during this entire poem. And now I have something new to appreciate since working on this blog post. I haven't noticed or appreciated a spoken poet's writing abilities until transcribing this poem. So much of it sounds like regular talking that I lost some of the purposeful emphasis and repetition that Mr. Harris put a lot of work into and is consistently show through the poem. The play on words is also a really cool feature with "Seoul" food and "soul" food. It had humor with pop culture references such as Full House and I was laughing so hard when he said Bob Saget with so much conviction. Like yes. I needed this angry man to yell at me those two words: Bob Saget! 

It's an entertaining poem, I want more from Dave Harris honestly. Maybe I can find some! Until than, I hope you liked this post and I will see you soon. 

- Jante 

i n s t a g r a m | _abatty_

Thoughts : Dubai

Hey!

As some of you may know, I am in Dubai. Well, currently visiting Dubai.

I am from the states and I came to Mombasa for my brother's wedding. It was wonderful and now I'm here with family and I went to the souq to get items for my mother. Most of the time when I go to the souq, I go to the parts where the locals would go not realizing that there is actually a souq - rightfully titled "The Grand Souq" -  where the tourists would go.

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I am obviously, not from here, so I was excited to see this part. I am technically a tourist so why not explore the area. I don't live here and I'm only in Dubai for a couple of weeks at a time. I haven't left the house a lot since I've been here so off I went. I was taking pictures and than I notice that the Europeans (most of the tourists are from Europe) were looking and staring at me. Mind you, I didn't look like a native. A local woman is fairly easy to notice because they have a black abayah and a black scarf. I didn't. I had a blue dress on with a black hijab and a maroon cardigan, I didn't shower and I just woke up. However I had the hijab on so obviously I am not like "them" you know, I could only imagine their assumption and how it occurred: "Oh look a hijabi, I wonder how long she has been here.". However to any of the shop owners as soon as I open my mouth and my slightly Southern American tongue speaks, they know to raise the prices by 10 to 20 dirhams. (Which is why I came up with the tactic to speak to them in Arabic first than switch to English, that usually confuses them enough and they can't pinpoint where I'm from. THEN, if I speak Swahili to my relatives they are even MORE confused).

I just it find it so interesting to have tourists see me as a local when in all actuality I'm as much of a tourist as them. But to be honest I'm always in an in-between state.

I always see multiple facets of myself and my characteristics even if they are paradoxical for the two to even exist. Like when I was diagnosed with depression, it wasn't apparent because I am a fairly happy easy-going person. I am patient but have a short-temper whenever I am dealing with technology. 

Also Dubai is an unique country with 80% of the population being primarily immigrants. 80% of the total population is not even originally from Dubai. Is that not crazy at all (I find it a little crazy). So to my family who live here (they are technically immigrants) are they considered locals? Because even the definition of local depends on who you talk to. I ask my aunt the question "Who is a local?", she'll respond with the natives or the people whose family has lived here for generations and generations. The people of the U.A.E. 

Life is weird man with so many factors to take into account. Perspectives are weird and honestly I could keep rambling on and on. But mostly, I want to show you pictures. So, here you go. Thanks for the rant and short story. 

Sincerely,

Jante

instagram | _abatty_

Am I Swahili Enough?

Hey!

Okay, I've been absent for awhile and mostly because I haven't been making this a priority. Long story short, I am going to make an effort to put more effort into this, like when I first started. No excuses, I'm going to do it.

Another thing, worth discussing is my association with Swahili culture and as you can tell from the title what actually makes me Swahili.

To start from the beginning, I was born in Dallas, Texas to my mom and father. My mom is termed as the OG regular Swahili gal straight from the coast of Mombasa with some of the family originally from Oman and apparently even from Iraq according to the last name "Shirazy". My father on the other hand is Tanzanian and his mother is part Indian. What exactly does that make me? Well, that's even a more complicated answer.

According to family and a little bit of the Internet, there is the Swahili language which is a mixture of Bantu and Arabic and then, there are the Swahili people who live on the Eastern coastal part of Africa and cover many areas like Tanzania, Mombasa, Zanzibar, and Madagascar. With hundreds of years of trading between the Arabs and the Africans of the area, many goods were exchanged alongside religion and language and intermarriages occurred. Many Arabs lived to settle on the Eastern coast of Africa and marry the locals which eventually created an entire group of people called Swahili people. 

Now, I condensed this information a lot and it is actually way more intricate and complicated but for now, this shall do. 

Back to me. 

I was more displaced than anything and I definitely think that I wouldn't have been who I am today if I wasn't born in America and raised here as an American. Growing up I didn't learn Swahili therefore, I didn't speak Swahili. My parents spoke Swahili to each other but I never learned the language. I am trying now but obviously, it is harder to try to learn a language when you are already an adult. Nonetheless, I am trying.

Being born in the States and going to public school and ALSO being in the Army I didn't visit a lot of Swahili people growing up and I could count on one hand that amount of times I went to a wedding of some sort. I was two when I went back to Kenya but than seventeen years had passed before I went back again.

This means I spent a lot of my formative years here in the states and I think of myself as an American. If I were to be technical I would actually be first generation African-American. I guess the next question before I reached my answer is: Can I be American and Swahili? I identify myself as American. I was raised as an American. But can I add this new identity to myself? 

I think so. I mean I want to. I have always believed in the ability to be dualistic and have multiple layers to a person sooooooo I think I can. Albeit, when I do know Swahili fluently I will never sound like a local and I will not know the nuances that only a Swahili person can know from growing up in the area. My behaviors and actions will always be typical American to them. But this culture is a part of me. My parents never forgot to tell me where I came from and how they were raised. I was aware of this part of my origin and I have always been proud of where I come from.

So my final answer is: Yes. I am Swahili. But I'm also so many other identities that coexist and I identify with just as strongly. And in the end, that's what makes me, me. Not only the Swahili part of me but all of my other identities. 

Sincerely,

Jante

instagram | _abatty_