Thoughts : Dubai

Hey!

As some of you may know, I am in Dubai. Well, currently visiting Dubai.

I am from the states and I came to Mombasa for my brother's wedding. It was wonderful and now I'm here with family and I went to the souq to get items for my mother. Most of the time when I go to the souq, I go to the parts where the locals would go not realizing that there is actually a souq - rightfully titled "The Grand Souq" -  where the tourists would go.

ANECDOTE        |1|

I am obviously, not from here, so I was excited to see this part. I am technically a tourist so why not explore the area. I don't live here and I'm only in Dubai for a couple of weeks at a time. I haven't left the house a lot since I've been here so off I went. I was taking pictures and than I notice that the Europeans (most of the tourists are from Europe) were looking and staring at me. Mind you, I didn't look like a native. A local woman is fairly easy to notice because they have a black abayah and a black scarf. I didn't. I had a blue dress on with a black hijab and a maroon cardigan, I didn't shower and I just woke up. However I had the hijab on so obviously I am not like "them" you know, I could only imagine their assumption and how it occurred: "Oh look a hijabi, I wonder how long she has been here.". However to any of the shop owners as soon as I open my mouth and my slightly Southern American tongue speaks, they know to raise the prices by 10 to 20 dirhams. (Which is why I came up with the tactic to speak to them in Arabic first than switch to English, that usually confuses them enough and they can't pinpoint where I'm from. THEN, if I speak Swahili to my relatives they are even MORE confused).

I just it find it so interesting to have tourists see me as a local when in all actuality I'm as much of a tourist as them. But to be honest I'm always in an in-between state.

I always see multiple facets of myself and my characteristics even if they are paradoxical for the two to even exist. Like when I was diagnosed with depression, it wasn't apparent because I am a fairly happy easy-going person. I am patient but have a short-temper whenever I am dealing with technology. 

Also Dubai is an unique country with 80% of the population being primarily immigrants. 80% of the total population is not even originally from Dubai. Is that not crazy at all (I find it a little crazy). So to my family who live here (they are technically immigrants) are they considered locals? Because even the definition of local depends on who you talk to. I ask my aunt the question "Who is a local?", she'll respond with the natives or the people whose family has lived here for generations and generations. The people of the U.A.E. 

Life is weird man with so many factors to take into account. Perspectives are weird and honestly I could keep rambling on and on. But mostly, I want to show you pictures. So, here you go. Thanks for the rant and short story. 

Sincerely,

Jante

instagram | _abatty_

Am I Swahili Enough?

Hey!

Okay, I've been absent for awhile and mostly because I haven't been making this a priority. Long story short, I am going to make an effort to put more effort into this, like when I first started. No excuses, I'm going to do it.

Another thing, worth discussing is my association with Swahili culture and as you can tell from the title what actually makes me Swahili.

To start from the beginning, I was born in Dallas, Texas to my mom and father. My mom is termed as the OG regular Swahili gal straight from the coast of Mombasa with some of the family originally from Oman and apparently even from Iraq according to the last name "Shirazy". My father on the other hand is Tanzanian and his mother is part Indian. What exactly does that make me? Well, that's even a more complicated answer.

According to family and a little bit of the Internet, there is the Swahili language which is a mixture of Bantu and Arabic and then, there are the Swahili people who live on the Eastern coastal part of Africa and cover many areas like Tanzania, Mombasa, Zanzibar, and Madagascar. With hundreds of years of trading between the Arabs and the Africans of the area, many goods were exchanged alongside religion and language and intermarriages occurred. Many Arabs lived to settle on the Eastern coast of Africa and marry the locals which eventually created an entire group of people called Swahili people. 

Now, I condensed this information a lot and it is actually way more intricate and complicated but for now, this shall do. 

Back to me. 

I was more displaced than anything and I definitely think that I wouldn't have been who I am today if I wasn't born in America and raised here as an American. Growing up I didn't learn Swahili therefore, I didn't speak Swahili. My parents spoke Swahili to each other but I never learned the language. I am trying now but obviously, it is harder to try to learn a language when you are already an adult. Nonetheless, I am trying.

Being born in the States and going to public school and ALSO being in the Army I didn't visit a lot of Swahili people growing up and I could count on one hand that amount of times I went to a wedding of some sort. I was two when I went back to Kenya but than seventeen years had passed before I went back again.

This means I spent a lot of my formative years here in the states and I think of myself as an American. If I were to be technical I would actually be first generation African-American. I guess the next question before I reached my answer is: Can I be American and Swahili? I identify myself as American. I was raised as an American. But can I add this new identity to myself? 

I think so. I mean I want to. I have always believed in the ability to be dualistic and have multiple layers to a person sooooooo I think I can. Albeit, when I do know Swahili fluently I will never sound like a local and I will not know the nuances that only a Swahili person can know from growing up in the area. My behaviors and actions will always be typical American to them. But this culture is a part of me. My parents never forgot to tell me where I came from and how they were raised. I was aware of this part of my origin and I have always been proud of where I come from.

So my final answer is: Yes. I am Swahili. But I'm also so many other identities that coexist and I identify with just as strongly. And in the end, that's what makes me, me. Not only the Swahili part of me but all of my other identities. 

Sincerely,

Jante

instagram | _abatty_

LEMONADE - BEYONCÉ

Hey guys!
Jante here and I am slightly back from school and work and just life in total to discuss Beyoncé's sixth album titled Lemonade. It was released on April 23, 2016 available for digital streaming and the following day was available for digital download on her and her husband's company Tidal.

This one is probably her rawest and most awe-inspiring albums to date with the main topic being infidelity and cheating and the journey that Beyoncé had to go through in order to salvage that relationship.

Lyrics were above average. I enjoyed them but I feel after repeated listens I will start seeing flaws. Production was definitely on point but what I really liked about the album was the atmospheric brooding and melancholy that she delves into. In this post I would like to do an in-depth analysis on each song and my interpretations of each.

I. PRAY YOU CATCH ME

First song off the album and for me the first listen I wasn't too impressed, but it grew on me as I delved into the lyrics. It seems repetitive but I didn't mind it. Beyoncé is indirectly calling him (who I assume is Jay-Z) and saying that she prays that he catches her.

HOWEVER

The connotation from the title doesn't make it seem like she needed saving but rather she wants him to figure out that she knows. She knows what he is up to and she wants him to know that she knows. In fact she is "praying" that he catches her listening and figuring out what's going on.

Most Memorable Lyric

"You can taste the dishonesty

It's all over your breath as you pass it off so cavalier"

II. HOLD UP

This song starts off very poppy and she seems to have this very relaxed and reggae style. The lyrics for me are also repetitive here but I can overlook it. There’s a lot of important content here including her talking another how there is no other person to love him (I am assuming everything here is about Jay Z) more than she is. She continues to talk about him saying that she has been "walked all over lately" and she is worried that she will look either jealous or crazy. Cause duh. You're man just cheated on you.

She continues the song asking him what happened if he never made it as big as he is now without her by her side. This song is directed as him as most songs are and lyrical content makes it seem like she should sound angry but thus song is pretty light and charismatic in the approach. It doesn't seem to contradict itself because Beyoncé doesn't sound sad or angry but rightfully justified and confident in her words. Like yeah, you messed up but it ain't going to mess with my head.

Most Memorable Lyric

“How did it come down to this?

Going through your call list

I don't wanna lose my pride, but Imma fuck me up a bitch”

III. DON'T HURT YOURSELF

Third song up is Don't Hurt Yourself by Beyoncé featuring Jack White. Now I had to do a little research given the fact that I know little to nothing about Jack White. I recognize the band immediately that he was in called The White Stripes and Jack White himself was a seriously well acclaimed musician earning him several Grammys and is hugely involved in the garage rock revival and the rock genre in general

So it was definitely an interesting collaboration to say the least and it was a collaboration THAT PAID OFF.

There's a lot of angst and attitude and just anger that Beyoncé exudes in this one.

The lyrics are more evident here providing a lot to chew on. Her voice is definitely distorted or covered here by something but it definitely makes the sound much grittier and I would call this a purely rock song. And her pronunciation is really cool here whenever she says boy and she sounds like a bad ass mofo.

Jack White's insertion into the song is something that I definitely appreciate. He brings a male voice to the whole infidelity concept and it is such a good collaboration.

The song discusses how when you mess with her you mess with yourself and how his decisions that he makes hurts her but will most importantly hurt himself.

Most Memorable Lyric

”This is your final warning.

You know I give you life.

If you try this shit again.

You're gonna lose your wife.”

IV. SORRY

Okay this is definitely more pop-y in its execution. And this is a pretty simple song. Beyoncé is simply stating that she isn't sorry for how she's acting. He messed up, he shouldn't be mad at what she is doing. She is going to club with her ladies and yeah. Just an anthem to Jay-Z, telling him to fuck off and she ain't thinking about him.

Most Memorable Lyric

“Today I regret the night I put that ring on

He always got them fucking excuses

I pray the Lord you reveal what his truth is”

V. 6 INCH

Fifth song off the album is titled 6 Inch with a guest performance with the Weeknd. I personally like this, it has a huge bass that would sound great if you are playing it on good speakers. The Weeknd is featured on here for only one set of lyrics and you don't hear from him at all in the entire song. Honestly, I wished he appeared in the song more often than he does but whatever.

The song is sung from a perspective of Beyoncé talking about another woman, which is most likely her. I mean what other woman could Beyoncé be talking about?? C'mon guys.

However, I feel like this is Beyoncé’s reaction to her husband cheating on her. I mean superficially this is a song talking about a woman who is always working and on her grind but giving the connotation and how the whole album is set up, it seems to be that Beyoncé is focusing on her career in order to look away from what is happening at home.

So honestly it could be another anthem about how she is amazing with her grind and she is making so much money in "six inch" heels and how she is killing it with her job. But in my opinion, I think this is mostly about how she is overworking in order for her not to pay attention to what is happening at home.

This is further reinforced with the last phrase of the song saying "come back". Like I left to do my grind and everything but in the end I you still need to come back to me.

Most Memorable Lyric

“She fights and she sweats those sleepless nights

But she don't mind she loves the grind

She grinds from Monday to Friday

Works from Friday to Sunday”

VI. DADDY LESSONS

Unlike what the title would usually entail it is not a song detailing the morbid or awful parts of Beyoncé’s relationship with her father but rather it details her upbringing with her father. There's not too much to analyze here lyrically for it is pretty straight forward with little to no metaphors. What makes the song is that it is definitely country in its approach because it is purely Beyoncé’s voice and a guitar for most of the song with like little trumpets and beats here and there. Her father it seems to be in the album at least, was one of the main reasons why she grew up the way she is. Strong and tough, the Queen B we know her as today.

Beyoncé still somehow relates the song to the whole theme of cheating when it brings up the fact that her daddy warned her about "men like him" and how he is playing her. Not too much to say on this. Not my favorite but still decent. I probably wouldn't relisten this song often.

Most Memorable Lyric

“My daddy warned me about men like you

He said baby girl he's playing you

He's playing you

Cause when trouble comes in town

And men like me come around

Oh, my daddy said shoot”

VII. LOVE DROUGHT

Seventh song on the album Lemonade and this is probably one of my favorite songs because of the chorus and how her voice does the melodies on the "yous" and it makes me warm and soft.

Like lyrically it only has two real verses and the rest is just the chorus so there isn't much lyrically to dig into but she does something important by finally talking to the cheater about what he did. She tells him that he is her life line and she is asking about him about herself like why isn't she enough for him. Is she not sexy enough? There are several things she poses to him and the chorus basically states how their love for each other could stop wars, move a mountain, make it rain and stop the "love drought." "Love drought" I assume is the lack of love that exists in the relationship.

It no longer possesses the anger that the first couple of tracks did with their aggression but rather acceptance or at least acknowledgment of what happened between the two of them and how they need to start working on it.

Most Memorable Lyric

“Tell me what did I do wrong?

Feel like that question has been posed

I'm movin' on

I always been committed, I been focused

I always payed attention, been devoted

Tell me, what did I do wrong?

Oh, I already asked that

My bad”

VIII. SANDCASTLES

This is one of the most emotional and raw songs on here. The ballad begins with how Beyoncé walked out on him and how she promised she wouldn't stay with him. But she couldn't keep that promise. She sets the setting with dishes smashed on the encounter from a previous fight and pictures torn from the frame. Her voice starts to get a little raw here when she details the setting from us as it seems she becomes overwhelmed with emotions.

This song basically details that her promise to herself to stay away and how she can't keep that promise. Apparently when she left he was devastated and she came back when she knew that he was hurting too. All and all, it was a song about coming back together after spending some time apart with some beautiful emotionality all throughout the track.

Most Memorable Lyric

” Bitch, I scratched out your name and your face

What is it about you that I can't erase, baby?”

IX. FORWARD

To be honest, I just see this as part of Sandcastle or an extension if you will. Did I think it needed its own song? No? Am I okay with it? Yeah why not.

Also, I had no idea who James Blake was before this track so I look him up and he is a British electronic music producer and singer-songwriter with some success.

This is the shortest track on the album but I do like the voice alterations going on here, making it seem dark and scary at the end of the album. James Blake actually sings about 75% of the song with Beyoncé only coming in a little at the end. I feel it is about Beyoncé and Jay-Z trying to move forward with their relationships with it ending if someone can come back to the "sweet spot" on the bed.

Most Memorable Lyric

“Go back to your sleep in your favorite spot just next to me”

X. FREEDOM

This song, to be honest, is my absolute favorite on this album. It does feature Kendrick Lamar who I love so I may be a bit biased but I love the message that is here. Like I love the lyricism here there is a lot to chew on and I feel this is one song that doesn't relate to the infidelity theme that this whole album is about. Naaaaahhhh this song is about oppression and fighting for our rights because African-Americans especially African-American women are not respected in many parts of this country. She preaches for freedom and Kendrick's unique way of rapping makes me so happy of his feature here. He has so much sass and there is a point of the song where he states "can anybody hear me" and when he states the "me" it takes a high note that is absolutely precious on my ears. He does a countdown starting from 10 to four and he starts asking for his mother to pray for him as he starts fighting for his cause and how he wants to be reminded for this. I just, I love this song so much. Beyoncé also kills it with her chorus and I love the lyrics she sings here. At the end of the song, the title of the album is revealed through something that Beyoncé’s grandmother said at her 90th birthday party.

"I was served lemons, but I made lemonade.”

Most Memorable Lyric

“I break chains all by myself

Won't let my freedom rot in hell

Hey! Imma keep running

Cause a winner don't quit on themselves”

XI. ALL NIGHT

The final song on the album was a moving ballad with some really cool guitar strings and then some really cool trumpets at the end. I just love how she sings the chorus and it is just really beautiful. It seems to be a conclusion of everything that happens on this journey and basically Beyoncé is consoling Jay-Z through everything that happened, asking him to dry his tears and telling him that she is the light in the dark. She then tells him that she will love him all night and be there for him no matter what. Honestly it was probably the best way to end the song for it leads there to be hope in this entire album's brooding and sad atmosphere. Like you leave the album feeling optimistic about the relationship. It isn't perfect because she says that it will take some to "prove that she can trust him again."

Most Memorable Lyric

“Baptize your tears and dry your eyes”

Now you guys, you got my entire analysis of this album, and overall I thoroughly enjoyed it. A lot of emotions are played on here, Lyrics were really cool to analyze and pick through. Production and instrumentation on some songs here were amazing and I am extremely happy with the features and what they incorporated in the songs and overall I recommend this album to everybody, ESPECIALLY for others who have experienced infidelity in their own relationships. And not to look back on past relationships and brood on them but more because I feel like people would be more likely to relate to what she is saying.

I'll rate this album a 9.5/10 easy.

Also, my friend Tania is doing a post about it too dedicated to the music video. Go check it out man!

Anyways, thanks for reading and have a wonderful evening/day!

Sincerely,

Jante Fazaldin

P.S.

Find me on these platforms!

I N S T A G R A M | | _abatty_

Starting Over

HEY,

The name is Jante and I am nineteen years old and this is my safe space.

I have a lot of opinions, probably opinions that you don't agree with. Either way, I hope we can get to know each other and chill.

To let you know, this is mostly a revamp of my blog. I miss doing this as I never have any time anymore and I don't know. I want to be close to this again.

Hopefully, me sharing myself to you is enough for you to come back and read again.

Sincerely,

Jante Fazaldin